My people, sorry for my absence, Just been tied up with work and exams. You know your girl must survive now, can’t rely on these no-good London blokes. And yes, I’m still reeling from my disappointment of my fairytale cyber-love who turned out to be more of a frog than a prince. Just so you know, our meeting did not go beyond that car park as I just couldn’t stand him but there’s still a glimmer of hope as I’ve got another date.

Well, it’s nothing special, just this dude that has been on my case for some time. I’ve known him for quite a while, so no undesirable surprises there, or so I hope. He’s promised to keep it casual, so no coming on too hard. I keep the dressing casual too; just a pair of skinny jeans and a tight fitting top with heels…no long thing! I just can’t bring myself to dress up for another disappointment, if it turns out to be. My phone rings, it’s him.

“Hi Ben” I say softly down the phone, unable to muster the strength to sound even the least bit excited.
“Hey, you alright?” he asks, so excitedly, it sounded just a bit annoying.
“I’m outside”. “OK, I’ll be right out” I reply, in my sullen tone still.

As soon as I step outside and clock him, I knew the date was just going to go one way: the way I won’t like. He’s sat in his banger, grinning. Just so you know, a banger is an old rickety car. Oh goodness! Ok, that shouldn’t be an issue, as I don’t want to come across as materialistic. He looks good though, his handsome face breaking into an enchanting smile once he set eyes on me. Still sweet as ever. He gets out of his banger and engages me in a warm embrace, he smells nice too. We pull away after a couple of seconds, and just as soon as he opens his mouth to speak, a strong odour followed. Oh no, bad breath! How could I have not remembered that his breath could render a being weak? I couldn’t pull away from him completely fast enough. The ride to the date felt like the longest journey I’ve ever been on as this guy couldn’t stop talking, suffocating me with his stale breath and I just couldn’t wait to hop out of his banger.

After what seems like eternity, we arrive at the date, a ‘swanky’ Chinese buffet parlour offering an all-you-can-eat for £10.50. Wow! Aren’t I a lucky girl? Dude sure went all out for me. A buffet on a first date, who would have thought? Cheap prick! Sensing my disgust, he asks what’s wrong. “I’m fine, just a bit tired” I lie. “Are you sure?” he presses, and in my mind I’m thinking won’t this guy just eat his food. I nod in affirmation to his question. My guy was just scoffing down the food. Nothing on that platter of egg friend rice, chicken balls, prawn, chicken vermicelli, sesame toast and a host of others went untouched, and in a greedy fashion too. Again, I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
“Why me God, why me?” I ask in my mind. I dare not lament out loud.
Now for the pièce de résistance, we went all the way next door…to the cinema. Could this date get any worse, I hear you ask. I’m really pinching myself just to be sure I’m not stuck in an unpleasant dream. As it turns out, this is reality. We get our tickets to see Prince of Persia and dawdle over to the confectionary stand. He’s still speaking and my tolerance is still permitting me to be polite but if this dude ventures forward and laughs so close to my face again, I would seriously lose it. You would think all that food would have helped his breath, right? He requested for a popcorn couple’s combo…again, wow – two large drinks and one tub of popcorn, coming up to a total of £9.30. The shame I feel compares to none. He decides to pay with his debit card. The attendant rings up the amount on the debit pad, he enters his PIN and the next words that come out of the attendant’s mouth just make me wish for lightening to strike at exactly the point I am standing.

“It’s been declined” WHAT?

“Please try again” he begs.

The attendant tries again and the same happens. At this point, I would gladly commit suicide. A long queue of fellow film-goers extends behind us, taking the shame to an unfathomable level of magnitude, indescribable in itself. I just pray inwardly that he has some cash on him, because if I decide to pay, it’ll be a shame neither of us could live down. He beckons on me to take the popcorn and drinks upstairs, at the attendant’s discretion of course. So I go up into the screen room, previews are starting and I’m munching away, oblivious to what’s going on between my date and the cinema attendant. Finally, he appears and comes to sit beside me.

Then he says:

“Ummh Sarah, the card has been declined and I don’t have any cash on me to pay for the popcorn and drinks so I have to take them back.”

Cue huge jaw-drop. I give them to him, mouth still wide open. This has gone beyond shame, totally numb to that emotion now. And the worst part of it is that yours truly has eaten the popcorn half-way down the tub. In fact, I give up. But amidst this, I feel so sorry for him seeing him take the items back, with half the popcorn gone, no thanks to me. The look he’d receive from those attendants, I could only pity him. The embarrassment he must be feeling…wow. At this point, Dennis is looking rather tempting. After a couple of minutes, he returns and tries to down-play the whole fiasco. Impossible. Banger, I can stand. Bad breath, there’s help, but cheap restaurant and an embarrassing spell at the cinema, NO can do mister. This girl is jetting, and fast. I make an excuse and take my leave.

I give up. No be by force. When love is ready, it will bring a good-looking man with the ability to pay for a good date my way. But one question though: why is this happening to me? More importantly, where do I get all these guys from?

Tagged as: diary, Ladybee, love lost