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The idiot is calling. Why? I just left him five minutes ago. Goodness….men!! He probably just ditched his egbere in order to ‘spend time with me’ which to me is more of a suicide invitation. I’d gladly jump into the Thames if I have to spend an extra minute with that bagger.

One thing you must know about me. Although I’m a fun-loving, free spirited girl, I can’t stand men that cheat. My heart breaks on behalf of their girls when I see men philandering. I just can’t seem to get my head around why they hop from one bed to another. That thing no get face, and although the texture and smell may differ (eek!), the pleasure is the same, abi? Well, I wouldn’t know, would I? Never swung the other way. In any case, I’m definitely not obliging that Lothario, someone else can indulge him.

Anyways, time to get ready for my date. Oh yes, your girl’s got a date. Well basically, it’s this dude I have been talking to online for quite a while. His name is Olakunle. He sounds interesting, and he sounds fine too. Our late night phone conversations have me longing to see him, be with him and who knows what might happen from there *fingers crossed*. Ok day out in Luton over, back to London to get ready for my cyber – soul mate.

It’s 6.02 pm on this fine Saturday evening. Weather’s still good so you know the outfit has to be on-point. I’m dressed in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a pink slinky satin cowl-neck top with a black blazer and gold peep-toe heels. Hair styled and held back, minimal make-up and just the perfect gold drop earrings . Well, I look very good if you ask me. I’d easily devour myself if I could. Teju has no idea where I’m going. Well, why should he? He hasn’t promised to be exclusive, has he? He can do anything he likes as long as his debit card is committed to me, I’m cool.

I get into my pre-booked cab (I still gotta arrive in style even if I don’t have a car) and head straight to the O2 Arena in North Greenwich. We, myself and Ola, think to keep it casual the 1st time, hence the O2. And also, if he tries anything funny, I can always attract attention to him. I’d just go to the nearest security officer and tell him Ola’s linked to Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. There’s no guessing what would happen next.

Ok, I’m here now and there isn’t a sign of him. I decide not to call him because he should be the one chasing me, even though I seem to have arrived for our date before him. The irony! My phone begins to ring, it’s him. I smile to myself, take a deep breath and wait a few seconds before picking up; I don’t want to look desperate now.

“Hello” says me.

“Hello sweetheart” he says. That sexy voice doing some rewiring in my head.

“How are you hun?” he enquires.

“I’m good” I reply. “I’m in the car park, where are you?” he asks.

“Really? I’m opposite the car park and I can’t see you“ I say.

“What are you wearing?” “I’m waving. Can you see anyone waving?

That’s me!” he says. I look up and see the waving figure.

But it seems my eyes are playing a joke on me. I literally rub my eyes and look again. Same thing. There has to be a mistake somewhere, because what I’m seeing looks nothing like I imagined. Short, stocky, black (dark would be an understatement) with big lips, in fact everything I did not imagine. “Aahh aye mi, temi bami!” No way Jose!

Tagged as: diary, Ladybee